Suicide

My life has been affected by suicide. My loved ones have attempted, I lost my very dear cousin and friend two years ago, two high school friends this year, and at a younger age I had suicidal thoughts.

I have started reading a book and just wanted to share. As a person that has not attempted and hasn't thought of it in over a decade, I didn't think this would help ME, I was reading it for someone else. But in the first three chapters, I feel a life change happening. I will be buying more copies of this book and am willing to share it with anyone that wants to read it. I am understanding more of my cousin's decision, I am learning how better to talk to people about it and I am finally understanding my own thoughts from years ago. 

The book is called "When Darkness Comes" by Angerona S. Love (I'll post the link to Amazon.) This woman came home to find her fiance' had killed himself and throughout the next year she struggled with thoughts and attempts of her own. 

Here's an excerpt and the main point of me writing this:

Failure:

You are not a failure because you are broke.

You are not a failure because someone broke up with you.

You are not a failure because you have lost your job.

You are not a failure because you didn't get a promotion.

You are not a failure because days, weeks or months of unopened mail sits on your table or desk.

You are not a failure because you hurt someone.

You are not a failure because you are getting divorced.

You are not a failure because you feel you hate your parents.

You are not a failure because your kid yelled that they hate you in an argument.

You are not a failure because you have a mental illness.

You are not a failure because you have any illness.

You are not a failure because you feel no one understands you.

You are not a failure because you did not get something you wanted. 

You are not a failure because because someone told you so.

You are not a failure because you feel you have no friends.

You are not a failure because your grades suck.

You are not a failure because unexpectedly pregnant.

You are not a failure because you are unable to have kids.

You are not a failure because someone treated you poorly.

You are not a failure because you lost money.

You are not a failure because you are addicted to drugs.

You are not a failure because you have grown older.

You are not a failure because you are not old enough.

You are not a failure because your house is a mess.

You are not a failure because have lost youthful appearance. 

You are not a failure because a youthful appearance is all you have left.

You are not a failure because someone told you that you aren't good enough.

You are not a failure because you disappointed someone you care about. 

You are not a failure because you disappointed yourself.

You are not a failure because you believe yourself to be.

You are not a failure.

I've also always heard, though not sure how much I believed, "Suicide is selfish." I am positive I do not believe it now and will correct those who choose to speak that nonsense in my presence.

The author writes: Suicide is not selfish; it is sheer desperation that falsely claims there is no other answer.

If anyone would like to borrow this book, please let me know. If you'd like a copy and don't want to or can't pay for it, I'll take care of it for you. And, PLEASE, if you ever have thoughts, questions or just want to vent, know that I am ALWAYS here, no matter the situation or how close we are. And I promise to always keep your secrets to the best of my ability. 

You can purchase a copy of the book here.

Rachael