Friendship

What is friendship? Well the dictionary says friendship is “the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends” or “a relationship between friends.” So, in order to understand their definition of friendship we have to understand the meaning of friend. The dictionary definition of a friend is “a person whom one knows, likes and trusts.” As much as I like these definitions I don’t feel like they really embody the true meaning of friends and friendship.

So, to get life behind words I went to the Bible, of course. I know the Bible talks about friends quite a bit. Nearly everyone knows the Scripture “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 As great as that verse is at explaining what kind of friend we are expected to be, I just needed more! If we continue in John 15, we see that Jesus calls us His friends if we do what He commands (one of which is to love our neighbors, which I believe to mean being friendly). He also says that we’re not called servants anymore because He has made it available for us to know everything He learned from Father God. (John 13:15) WOW The dictionary said that being friends is a relationship between people that know, like and TRUST one another. So, for Jesus to be my friend, I must know Him, Like Him and Trust Him….and to be His friend I must be known by, liked by and trusted by Him! What an awesome relationship Jesus is offering us!

In Proverbs 27:17, friendship is defined in a necessary sort of way. If we’re friends we should be sharpened by our friends and we should be sharpening our friends. So, are we edifying our friends and allowing our friends to edify us? If you are not sharpening or being sharpened by our friends, could it be because we’re unequally yoked? Am I trying to stay friends with the world? Yes, we are to be IN the world and not OF the world, yes, we’re commanded to lead by example, but friendship goes much deeper. To be a friend is to have a deep connection with someone else and I believe to build one another up. That means it HAS to be two sided, you can’t constantly take or constantly give, that’s not friendship. Amos 3:3 says you cannot walk with someone that is not in agreement with you. If you’re living for Christ your life is to be in agreement with His principles, so your friends need to be in agreement with Christ, as well.

Do you have friends that you can be yourself with, fully? Do you let them? Do you pretend to be someone you’re not to be accepted? Do you judge them so harshly they feel the need to pretend to be someone else for your acceptance? When you are struggling with something, do you open up to them looking for edification? Or do you want them to just “take your side” and when they don’t you get mad and offended? What about when a friend confides in you? Do you love them enough to pray about the situation and offer edification in love?

Friendship, a deep relationship with love, is based upon respect. Do you respect your friends? Do you cherish their opinions and seek their godly counsel? Do you offer your opinions in love? Do you offer godly counsel?

All these words are well and good but I need practical application! I need to know how these words and lessons affect my daily life.

Well I am blessed with some of the best friends ever that are great examples of this Godly friendship. These friends, I believe have the best intentions. They obviously desire to see their friends Spiritual walks being strengthened. When I’m having a bad day or some struggle/trial I know that I can count on one of my friends to tell me the Truth. Yes, they love me and I know that, but they never just tell me what I want to hear. They won’t just take my side when I’m wrong. I love that about them because I know that talking to them will better me as a person and as a Christian. There are times when I don’t want to talk to them because I want to wallow in self-pity and hurt feelings. But, when I allow myself to be counseled and helped by these Godly men and women, I come out on the other side praising God for His faithfulness!

Never take your friends for granted. As you can see in the beginning of this post, God obviously has a great plan for friendship. He talks about friends and friendship a lot in the Scriptures, so I think it’s a pretty important topic. I also think it’s an easy topic to avoid because we think it’s “too obvious” or we have a skewed sense of friendship. It’s so easy to see friendship as merely companionship or comradery. But, friendship is just so much more. We should be better because of our friends and they should be bettered by our friendship as well.

I hope this has encouraged at least one person in true friendship. Prayerfully, we’ll BE the friends God wants us to be and we’ll HAVE the friends God wants us to have.

Much love and Prayers,

Melissa