Before you read this blog post, I want you to think of two people. I'm sure most, if not all, of us know these two people.
The first person would be someone you know that's weak, someone that can't handle the curveballs life throws at them, someone that buckles when adversity, pain or troubled waters affect them.
The second person is one that is strong. This person is someone you would be happy to lean on when you're being tested and tried, that person that seems to be able stand strong when life becomes tumultuous - that person that you know would hit that curveball right out of the park.
I know a person that I have always seen as weak, someone who seems to fall apart when life becomes uncertain. This person has always represented "the house built on sand" to me.
I also know a person that seems to stand tall no matter how strong the winds of adversity blow. This person seems to be able to hold the weight of all their own problems, as well as, the weight of their friends/family's problems. Everyone dumps their woes on this person and we don't feel badly about it because they continue to stand tall and strong and never complain of the weight on their shoulders.
Now, I'm not saying I've never seen the "weak" person display strengths or the "strong" person break down under the pressure of life. It's just that they emulate one or the other more often and therefore I easily forget their moments of displaying the opposite.
We're not comparing how much pain, trouble or hardship person A and Person B have. Some will argue that the weaker person has more hardship to deal with than the stronger person and therefore can no longer be strong. These facts are not relevant to this particular post - so please just ignore the pull to compare.
At this point, I want you to think about WHY you think person A is weaker. What reactions to life events have you seen that have cause you to see them as a weaker person? How about person B? What have they done to make you see their strength?
I have learned something that I find interesting about my real life person A and person B. When I looked at the "weak" person with clear eyes and no predetermined idea of strength or weakness, I saw something remarkable! That weak person is actually incredibly strong. Yes, life has been tough at times and they have buckled under the pressure, but that's not why I saw them as weak. I saw this person as weak for one simple reason - they see themselves as weak! They are constantly full of fear of troubled waters even when the waters are calm. The person struggles with constant "what-ifs" and finds it difficult to live in the moment and enjoy the good times. They may not see themselves the way I have described but that is how I perceive them. Don't get me wrong, I love this person - these are abstract observations.
When I looked at the "strong" person without my preconceived notions, I realized why I see them as strong - they believe themselves to be strong! Then, they, in turn, use their strength to help those around them.
Yes, I know this isn't deep or new at all, but I have learned something valuable about myself. I personify my opinion of myself for others to see. If I believe I'm weak, others see that and also believe I'm weak. If I believe myself to be strong, others then see me as strong. So, how does knowing this change anything? Pretending that I believe I'm strong isn't going to cause anyone else to see me as strong. What am I supposed to do with this understanding of personifying my belief of weakness or strength? Once I start allowing myself to see my strengths, I will then start actually believing my strength. By celebrating my strengths rather than dwelling on my weakness - I'll begin personifying strength rather than weakness. Then an awesome thing happens, I believe I'm strong, people perceive I'm strong and I become stronger. As I become a friend that people can lean on because of my strength, it grows and I focus less on my own trials, troubles and "curveballs" and start looking for ways to help others. It's incredible; believing we're weak keeps us weak; believing we're strong makes us stronger and then, in turn, those around us become stronger, too.
You may be wondering about the "weak" person in my life. Well, now that I can see how strong they really are, my prayers is that they will begin seeing their strength, too. Then they will start believing it. What happens next? Life will change for them and all those around them!
Now, I must say that when we depend on our own strength to get through the hard times, we're not going to last. We're all only so strong, but we have a God that holds all strength and He wants to hold us up during those hard times. Be strong for those around you by leaning on the only One that never stumbles or buckles. He is the One that gives us the strength to help those around us.
Now you're thinking, wow that was long, what did she say??
Here it is, in a nutshell:
1) If you believe yourself weak, others, in turn, believe you weak.
2) If you believe yourself strong, others, in turn, believe you strong.
3) Being strong for others, makes us and them stronger.
4) God is the only One that gives the strength we need to get through life.
5) YOU ARE STRONG - BELIEVE IT!!
God Bless,
Melissa
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