That Girl/This Girl

Have you ever posted a past photo of yourself that was thinner or more athletic or dressed better or whatever? I have done it a lot of times. I thought I was inspiring myself with comments like "that girl had her crap together and this girl is working hard to get back to being her..."

My Honest Prayer

Reading other people's honest words is very therapeutic for me. I have been praying all day long and basically the words have been the same. I thought I'd write them as they came. I hope and pray someone else is encouraged by the honesty and openness in this prayer. I hope that whoever is reading this knows that God is always there for us no matter how much we're struggling or how much pain we're in at the time. Just be honest with Him and ask for His help. Praising Him in the Storm is a lesson I've been trying to learn for years, but today I realized sometimes I need His help to even do that.

Learning in Loss

This week my sweet companion, my precious dog, was hit and killed by a car.

Wednesday morning while I was getting ready for work, my neighbors called to say that Taylor had been hit by a car. She was alive but hurt. Cameron and I rushed to her side, she was wrapped in a towel laying in the street bleeding and broken. We got her to the nearest vet and they began treating her immediately. They found a dislocated elbow, broken ankle, 3 broken and 1 hyper-extended rib, internal hemorrhaging and head trauma. They gave her fluids and stabilized her. The plan was that they would keep her stable and monitor her for 24 hours. Cameron and I continued to work like normal.

Save the Drama fo yo Mama!

I want to start off by apologizing for the negativity. I try really hard to keep a positive air about myself and not to bring others down. But in this case, I am tired of standing idly by. This is my life and I choose to live it my way. 

-Rachael 

This definition is from Urban Dictionary. It makes me laugh, but is so true! 

Drama:

A way of relating to the world in which a person consistently overreacts to or greatly exaggerates the importance of benign events.

Typically "drama" is used by people who are chronically bored or those who seek attention.

People who engage in "drama" will usually attempt to drag other people into their dramatic state, as a way of gaining attention or making their own lives more exciting.

Common warning signs/ risk factors of drama or a dramatic person are:

1. Having one supposedly serious problem after another.

2. Constantly telling other people about one's problems.

3. Extreme emotionality or frequently shifting, intense emotions.

4. Claiming to have experienced negative events that are highly implausible.

5. A boring job or mundane life.

6. Making claims without sufficient evidence or a lack of detail about supposedly serious events.

7. A pattern of irrational behavior and reactions to everyday problems.

I have problems. I struggle daily. I battle with emotional problems, health issues, weight loss/gain, marital, maternal and job struggles. But most people don't know about them. I am not the type of person to drag others into my drama. I do not feed on it. I do not need drama in my life to survive. 

And I'm pretty damn tired of people trying to bring me down with theirs. If you don't have anything nice to say... SAY NOTHING. If putting me down, dragging my name through the mud and making up lies about me makes you feel better about yourself, I feel sorry for you. I feel absolutely sad for people that have nothing better to do than live a lie. 

That is all. 

SAVE. THE. DRAMA. FO. YO. MAMA. 

DISCLAIMER:

This is not about a singular or particular person. This has been on my mind for a while. I just got the time and gumption to do it. BUT - if the shoe fits, lace it up and wear it. 

What Happens When I Try to Write Blogs!

Today, I learned a few things that I wanted to blog about. The thing is, I'm not a good blogger. My blogs are not very well thought through, they are compulsive, they are written within minutes of deciding I have something to say. 
I tried writing like Sister. I tried making notes and pulling references. I tried thinking it through. Then I sat down to write and started to blog. 
One started great, then I lost my train of though. <DELETE>
One had great thought behind it, but I couldn't stay off the rabbit trails. <DELETE>
Then I took a selfie and sent it to Sister "look who's blogging" - bull.

What I Thought Was True, March 2008

In March of 2008, I suffered my first miscarriage. This is what I wrote about it. 5 1/2 years later, I have not edited or changed anything other than removing a poem a dear friend of mine wrote, because I'm not sure it's protected and I didn't want to be insensitive to her story. My emotions were raw when I wrote this and the writing isn't the best, but it's me. It's my form of healing. 

Suicide

My life has been affected by suicide. My loved ones have attempted, I lost my very dear cousin and friend two years ago, two high school friends this year, and at a younger age I had suicidal thoughts.

I have started reading a book and just wanted to share. As a person that has not attempted and hasn't thought of it in over a decade, I didn't think this would help ME, I was reading it for someone else. But in the first three chapters, I feel a life change happening. I will be buying more copies of this book and am willing to share it with anyone that wants to read it. I am understanding more of my cousin's decision, I am learning how better to talk to people about it and I am finally understanding my own thoughts from years ago. 

Friendship

An Uphill Battle

I've been overweight most of my life. I've struggled with my weight as long as I can remember. As I've shared before, I let my struggle become an obsession which led to some dangerous and unhealthy addictions. Confessions of Former Addict: The Scale No Longer Defines Me

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

7 Days

Monday, June 17, 2013: 

I took an at home pregnancy test. It was positive. After eight months of trying and three months of hormone treatments, I was PREGNANT! June 17th was an exciting day :) I made a few phone calls and told a few of my most favorite people. But I didn't tell my husband.

Am I Weak or Am I Strong?

Before you read this blog post, I want you to think of two people. I'm sure most, if not all, of us know these two people.

The first person would be someone you know that's weak, someone that can't handle the curveballs life throws at them, someone that buckles when adversity, pain or troubled waters affect them.

The second person is one that is strong. This person is someone you would be happy to lean on when you're being tested and tried, that person that seems to be able stand strong when life becomes tumultuous - that person that you know would hit that curveball right out of the park.

Do You Like Clint Black?

Do you like Clint Black? 

I sure like Clint Black. 

Don't stop reading if the answer was no. This was just inspired by a song.