I Divorced my Best Friend

We've all heard that your spouse should be your best friend. That you should be friends and lovers and partners. "Marry someone that is your best friend" is wonderful advice doled out by so many.
So, what if you did that? What if you were married to your best friend for almost 7 years, but that's all you were. You were friends only, the very best of friends, but not lovers, not partners, just best friends. Well the previous statement describes my marriage. So, after realizing what state my marriage was in and wanting/hoping/praying for something more, something deeper, something more "marriagey", we are officially divorced. Today, March 17, 2016, I am no longer checking the box "married" on paperwork, I am divorced. I am a divorcee. This title, as it were, is killing me. This identifying as something that I hate, is hurting deeper than I ever imagined. Some will remember that I wrote a post a few years ago about Satan hating marriage (read it here if you're interested), so am I now a hypocrite? I have spoken out against divorce many times. I still believe that God has ordained marriage and that it's a beautiful thing. I also believe, however, that God loves ME. He loves me and he loves my now ex-husband. He wants us to be happy, fulfilled and blessed. I believe with my whole heart that God is giving me peace during this most difficult time in my life. In December, I lost my Momma; in January, we filed for divorce. There is so much pain in my heart, there are days I can't imagine being able to get through. But, then, the most incredible thing will happen, God meets me there and He shines a light deep in my soul and He grants me peace. He says to me that He has always loved me and He continues to love me. He fills me with understanding that His Grace IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME!

I want to make it clear that I am NOT saying that God has chosen my divorce, nor am I saying that this is HIS plan for my life. What I am saying is that I know that my God loves me and truly desires to be the greatest part of my life and see me thrive in Him. What I am saying is that God's Grace is real and I am accepting it at this time in my life. What I am saying is that as a human, I will make mistakes, I will fail and I will make the wrong choice, BUT God will never leave me there, He is always there to help me pick up the pieces, to forgive me, to give me strength in the hour of my greatest need.

So, I divorced my best friend. People look at us and think we're crazy. We have chosen to remain the best of friends, and without the stress of trying to create what we want out of marriage when it's just not there, has improved our friendship. We still laugh together, cry together and get along. But, things are different now. We're not married, Eventually, we'll each probably start dating and maybe one or both of us will remarry. And I hope that our friendship will survive all of those life changes. But, I'm not worrying about the future, I am taking a day at a time. Today, I divorced my best friend. Today, I accepted God's Grace and Strength. Today, I chose to accept that I may have made a mistake, but I am not a failure in God's eyes. I am a redeemed child of His.

Love,
Melissa