Learning in Loss

This week my sweet companion, my precious dog, was hit and killed by a car.

Wednesday morning while I was getting ready for work, my neighbors called to say that Taylor had been hit by a car. She was alive but hurt. Cameron and I rushed to her side, she was wrapped in a towel laying in the street bleeding and broken. We got her to the nearest vet and they began treating her immediately. They found a dislocated elbow, broken ankle, 3 broken and 1 hyper-extended rib, internal hemorrhaging and head trauma. They gave her fluids and stabilized her. The plan was that they would keep her stable and monitor her for 24 hours. Cameron and I continued to work like normal.


A little while later, Cameron came to see me at work to tell me that Taylor had gone in to cardiac arrest twice. We decided to go to the vet to make the hardest decision we ever imagined. Just five minutes before we arrived at the vet's office, my sweet Taylor slipped away from this world. She gave up before I made the decision. It was the last thing she gave me, releasing me from having to make the hard decision.

Taylor was my pet for over 7 years. I adopted her after she’d been rescued from an awful situation that ended with the owners trying to get her euthanized for no reason other than they were tired of her. The nurse on staff at the clinic said she had way too much personality to be put down. She rescued her and took her to the Safe House in Houston, TX. I had just moved back to Texas after being away for 10 years. I had no friends there. I wanted a companion. I wanted unconditional love that only a dog can give. I looked at so many dogs the day I adopted her. She was the most personable, her eyes looked at me with the love that I needed. I knew in seconds that she was my dog. We bonded immediately. From the very first night, she slept under the covers, snuggled against my legs. She has gone on road trips with me, snuggled with me while I cried after losing loved ones, made me laugh when I wanted to cry, sat quietly against me when I was sick, woke me up to play. She was more than a pet; she was like a child to me. When I met and married my husband she became his, too. She loved him from the first meeting and that made me love him even more. Last night, for the first time in 7 years and 3 months, I lay down to sleep without my snuggle baby. You may think she was just a dumb dog, but she was family to my husband and me. We have no children, she was like our child.

I spent the day crying and sleeping and mourning. But, as the days have gone on, I have realized something incredibly important. The greatest lesson I have learned. Through my grief, I have seen a light. I adopted Taylor when I felt lonely, at a time in my life when I felt like I had no one. I felt unloved, unlovable and lonely. But, through this heartache and pain I have seen that I am no longer alone. I'm not unloved or unlovable any more. I am surrounded by more love and friendship than I ever thought possible. My friends have rallied around me to comfort me, help me financially with vet bills, pay for meals, hugs and cards and just checking in to see how I'm doing. Not one of them have made me feel like Taylor was "just a dog," but have made me understand that sometimes our closest companion and stability is found in a pet not a person. However, I know that I'll be ok, I know that I will always miss my companion and snuggle baby, but I will make it because I am surrounded by the greatest blessing in the world; true friendship. 

RIP Taylor
Forever in my heart and forever loved
My sweet companion
Thank you for getting me through so many rough times in life,
Thank you for always being there to love me and snuggle!